- "The Emptiness that lives within us- "Happy ending (*moment)."
I was reflecting on films the other day and how they usually end. I love the ones where the “ending” is “sad,” or “unexpected.” I know many people will think I'm being pessimistic, but the truth is I'm not. From a perspective as a health coach, I have to say that this “happy ending” that people are looking for, unfortunately, has led many people to a void, a deep “hole” of expectations and, consequently, frustrations.
The authors and creators of these stories that we see in cinemas have good intentions. I’m not going to say that they do this on purpose with the intention of “deceiving us”. Sometimes a “happy ending” can even help someone who is completely hopeless, or going through a difficult time. This is all valid. However, this also has its “side effects”, in the sense that many people spend years of their lives, always fighting and struggling to reach their “happy ending.”
And that's exactly what I'm getting at: there is only one ending. And we already know what he's like. Are you really enjoying the moments of your life? That smile that appears on your face when you remember someone, that moment when you can be with the people you like, when you eat or do something that is good for you. When after a tiring day, you take a shower and lie down in your bed. Or when you have the opportunity to visit a place you like…? Can you put your cell phone aside and hug that person you care so much about? These are the “happy endings” that films show, but in reality, they are moments. And, moments are fleeting.
Image owned by Unstoppable Mag.
When “happy endings” appear in films, obviously “everything ends well.” We try, or rather, we hope the same thing happens to us. For example, the end of year festivities. We eat, we are with the family, the new year arrives: beautiful. Afterwards: who will wash the dishes? Who will clean the house? We should think the same about films. For example, in Cinderella, do you really think the prince will dance with her all day? Or that Belle (Beauty and the Beast) will be reading?
I know this may sound like a cold shower, but it's reality. And it doesn't mean that reality is bad. My father always says “In the end, everything works out.” The end of the situation, of the moment, of course, things can “work out.” But it doesn't mean that because they don't happen the way you expect, that they are going wrong, you know?
But Victória, “why do I have to go through this?” (specific situation in your life). Because it had to be like this! I think it's super wrong for people to give explanations for moments without “answers.” This does not justify it being fair, right, or wrong. I'm not saying that. But we need to stop romanticizing the “Oh, because you had to learn from that.” “Oh, for you to grow up.” “Oh, why this, then why that!” Are you really going to tell a person who has depression, for example, that they are “going through it” because of “karma”, because they “had to learn something”? Please. Even because she never even chose to have depression. Nobody chooses.
It's healthy and it's good to believe in good things, to have faith (for those who have a belief), to value life... But this is different from “romanticizing it.” Because when we romanticize something, and for some reason it doesn't happen or doesn't go the way we imagined, we feel frustrated, and worst of all... guilty. It's one thing to have focus, objective, and of course, it may not happen the way you expected, but it's another to create a fantasy in your head limiting possibilities, people, life experiences. Don't limit yourself!
Therefore, I hope this text helped you understand and realize that: there is nothing wrong with you. Your life cannot be compared to a movie! These expectations and idealizations that we have are unfortunately historical and have been passed down from generation to generation. There's nothing wrong with being a single mother. There's nothing wrong with preferring to focus on work. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be or live differently. As long as it doesn't harm you or others, everything is fine!
Talk to your health professionals and psychologists. They will help you in the best possible way. Thank you for reading this far :)
Written by Victoria Parada Daros,
Health Coach.
Instagram: @victoriaparadad
Visit our “Catalog” to buy your vitamins, and follow our Instagram@unstoppable.vitamins for more healthy everyday tips.
- "The emptiness that dwells in us. "Happy Ending (*moment)."
We need to talk about it."
I was reflecting the other day on movies and how they usually end. I love the ones that the "ending" is "sad," or "unexpected." I know many people will think I am being pessimistic, but the truth is I am not. From a perspective as a health coach, I have to say that this "happy ending" that people seek so much has unfortunately led many people into a void, a deep "hole" of expectations and consequently, frustrations.
The authors and creators of these stories that we see in the movies have good intentions. I won't say that they do this on purpose in order to "fool" us. Sometimes a "happy ending" can even help someone who is completely without hope, or going through a difficult time. This is all valid. However, it also has its "side-effects," in the sense that many people spend years of their lives, struggling and fighting again and again to be able to achieve their "happy ending."
And that is exactly my point: there is only one ending. And we already know how it is. Are you really enjoying the moments in your life? That smile that appears on your face when you remember someone, that moment when you can be with the people you love, when you eat or do something that makes you feel good. When after a tiring day, you take a shower and lie down on your bed. Or when do you have the opportunity to visit a place you like? Can you put your cell phone aside and hug that person you care so much for? These are the "happy endings" that the movies show, but in reality, they are moments. And moments are transient.
Image owned by Unstoppable Mag.
When the "happy ending" appears in movies, obviously "everything goes well." We try, or rather, we hope that the same thing happens to us. Like, for example, the end-of-year parties. We eat, we are with the family, the new year arrives: beautiful. Then: who is going to do the dishes? Who is going to clean the house? We should think the same about movies. For example, in Cinderella, do you really think that the prince will be dancing with her all day long? Or that Bela (Beauty and the Beast) will be reading?
I know this may be a bucket of cold water, but it is reality. And it doesn't mean that reality is bad. My father always says "In the end, everything works out." The end of the situation, of the moment, sure, things can "work out." But it doesn't mean that because they don't happen the way you expect, that they are going wrong, you know?
But Victoria, "why do I have to go through this?" (specific situation in your life). Because it had to be that way! I think it's super wrong for people to give explanations for moments without "answers." That doesn't justify it being fair, right, or wrong. I'm not saying that. But we need to stop romanticizing the "Oh, because you had to learn from it." "Oh, so you could grow up." "Oh, because this… because that!" Are you really going to tell a person who has depression, for example, that they are "going through this" because of "karma" because they "had to learn something"? Please. Even because they never even chose to have depression. Nobody chooses it.
It's healthy and it's good to believe in good things, to have faith (for those who have a belief), to value life... But this is different from "romanticizing it." Because when we romanticize something, and for some reason it doesn't happen or go the way we imagine, we feel frustrated, and the worst... guilty. It is one thing for you to have a focus, a goal, and of course, it may not happen the way you expected, but it is another thing to create a fantasy in your head limiting possibilities, people, life experiences. Don't limit yourself!
So, I hope this text has helped you understand and realize that: there is nothing wrong with you. Your life cannot be compared to a movie! These expectations and idealizations that we have, unfortunately, are historical and have been passed on from generation to generation. There is nothing wrong with being a single mother. There is nothing wrong with preferring to focus on work. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be or live differently. As long as it doesn't hurt you and others, it's okay!
Talk to your healthcare professionals and psychologists. They will help you in the best possible way. Thank you for reading this far :)
Written by Victoria Parada Daros,
Health Coach.
Instagram : @victoriaparadad
Translated by Unstoppable Team.
(For questions or suggestions contact by email lifestyleunstoppable@gmail.com )
Check out our “Catalog,” to buy your vitamins, and follow us on Instagram
@unstoppable.vitamins for more healthy daily tips.
- "The void that lives in us. "Happy happiness (*moment of happiness)"
We should talk to him."
The other day I reflected on the films and how they finished. I am enchanted by the fact that the "final" is "sad" or "unexpected". Although many will think that I am pessimistic, but the truth is that I am not. From a perspective as a health coach, I have to decide that this "happy ending" that so many people are looking for, unfortunately, has led many people to a void, to a deep "gut" of expectations and, as a result, of frustrations.
The authors and creators of these stories that we see in cinemas have good intentions. I don't say that it meant "cheating us". Sometimes, a "happy ending" can even help someone who has no hope, who is going through a difficult time. Everything is valid. However, it also has its "secondary effects", in the sense that many people spend years of their lives, fighting and fighting once and again to be able to reach their "happy ending".
This is exactly my point: there is only one ending. Y ya know what it is. Do you really enjoy the moments of your life? That smile that appears on your face when you meet someone, that moment when you can be with the people who love you, when you come or have something that makes you feel good. When you're done with an exhausting day, you shower and lie in bed. When do you have the opportunity to visit a place you like? Can you put the mobile aside and hug that person who matters so much to you? These are the "happy finales" that the films show, but in reality they are moments. And moments are passing.
Image owned by Unstoppable Mag.
When the "happy ending" appears in the films, it is obviously "well done". We intend it, best of all, we hope it happens to us. Like, for example, end-of-year fiestas. We eat, we are with the family, the new year arrives: precious. So: who are you going to wash the dishes? Who are you going to clean the house? We should think the same about films. For example, in Cinderella, do you really believe that the prince will be dancing with her all day long? What is Bella (La Bella y la Bestia) going to read?
Maybe it could be a bucket of cold water, but that's the reality. Y eso does not mean that reality is bad. My priest always says: "In the end, everything is solved." At the end of the situation, at the moment, it's safe, things can "arrange". But that doesn't mean that because it doesn't produce what you expect, it's just going wrong, you know?
Pero Victoria, "Why do I have to go through this?" saying that. But we have to stop idealizing the "Oh, because you have to learn from him." "Ah, because they are, I'm here because that!" Are you really going to tell a person who has depression, for example, who "is going through this" because of "karma", because he "had to learn something"? Please. Even because he never chose to have depression. Nadie chooses.
It's healthy and good to believe in good things, to have faith (for those who have a belief), to value life... But this is different to "romanticizing" it. Because when we idealize something, and for some reason it doesn't happen or we don't see it as we imagine, we feel frustrated, and worse... guilty. One thing is to have a focus, an objective, and by assumption, it may not happen as expected, but the other thing is to create a fantasy in your head, limiting possibilities, people, vital experiences. Don't limit yourself.
So, I hope this text helps you understand and lets you know that there is nothing wrong with you. Your life cannot be compared to a film. These expectations and idealizations that we have, unfortunately, are historical and have been transmitted from generation to generation. There is nothing wrong with being a single mother. There is nothing wrong with focusing on work. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live differently. While it doesn't hurt you too much, it's fine!
Talk to your health professionals and psychologists. It will help you in the best way possible. Thanks for reading this :)
Written by Victoria Parada Daros
Health Coach.
Instagram : @victoriaparadad
Translated by Unstoppable Team.
(For questions or suggestions, contact by email: lifestyleunstoppable@gmail.com )
Join our “Catalog” to buy your vitamins, and follow our Instagram@unstoppable.vitamins for more healthy tips for everyday life.
